What's The Big Deal About Beyonce's Formation?

Beyonce. Beyonce. Beyonce. You've done it again and I'm sure this is only the beginning. 




On February 6, 2016 Beyonce dropped a surprise music video for her new single "Formation" and as expected the girls went crazy. With the hype of the Superbowl and talks of new music ( and her 11 week hiatus from IG) I just knew in my heart that the Queen Bey was up to something. 

Trophies

One thing I'm for sure afraid of is the pedestal. I'm afraid of being mounted and put on display for everyone else to spectate. I'm afraid of being boxed in  by unattainable standards of others. I'm afraid that one day, when you realize that I'm nothing like you imagined I'd be, you'll walk away. I'm afraid that when you realize that I'm just as flawed and unsure as anyone else, you're desire for me will cease. I'm afraid that I will no longer be of value to you. I'm afraid of being a trophy.

I wanted you to be different. I wanted you to actually see me for me and still want to be around. I just wanted it to be real.

Culture and Women in Society

So. I came across a post on Facebook earlier this morning that was all things misogynistic. The central theme of the post catered to the idea that Women are not capable of having multiple sex partners because of her innate emotional and mental strength, which over all implies that she is inherently weak, because she was born with a fucking vagina. The post also infers that not only is she incapable and inadequate of controlling her emotions, but she is nothing more than a vessel designed for and managed by a man. And here is my rebuttal.

The idea that women can't do the things men do because of the simple fact that we don't have a penis is not only archaic, and misogynistic but complete bullshit. It sounded dumb back then, and it's sounds even dumber now. We, as in humans both woman and man, are sexual beings. And because we are sexual beings we all exist within our own sexuality.

What We Talk About When We Talk About Love

Ask any young girl what love is and I'm pretty sure her answer will sound a bit like this " Love is when you get butterflies and you can't go a day without that person. Love is when he makes you feel like a princess and treats you like a queen". Sound Familiar?

 If you would of asked me what is love even 2 years ago my answer would of sounded like that. Ask me now and I still can't really give you an answer. What is love really? like what does it really look like? Does it look like the boy that gave me my first heartbreak? Does it look like the Instagram memes of Beyonce and Jayz? What does love even feel like? Is it the way you get a little nervous at the thought of seeing him today? Is it the way you feel when you're sitting by the phone waiting for his goodnight text message? Is it the way you feel when you find

The Truth about Anxiety Depression

Okay. So this is my second attempt at this post. Blogger really tried it but I'm going to try and move forward. But as I was saying... Lately I haven't been feeling like myself. My creative self that is. (Yes there's many parts of me I might even be crazy).

I've been struggling with finding inspiration and the motivation to create wonderful things. Why? Well on top of life and all of the burdens that come with living (work, school, bills, relationships.... Or the lack of) I have been dealing with depression and anxiety. Yep. Me. No I'm not sitting in the corner ready to end it all, but sometimes I'm sitting in my bed and I feel worried and sad and detached. And that takes a toll on you.

 My assumption would be that many people are unaware of what depression and/or anxiety actually is. Well the textbook definition of depression is the feeling of severe despondency or dejection. Or feeling blue, sad, miserable, unhappy etc. Anxiety is a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome.

In my experience I've been asked "well what do you have to be sad about?" And this is usually said in a way that implies:
 1. I have it all (I don't)
2. I'm doing great ( eh.... Debatable)
3. My life is great (if you only knew)

To answer that questions would take more than a few words because it's not just one thing. Maybe it's nothing real or tangible, but its powerful enough to overcome me. As of lately I've really been worrying about the future and what my life should be like in the future. There's a lot of pressure (from myself) to be perfect and do a perfect Job the first time around. I don't have much guidance in my life because honestly I don't have any real lifestyle role models. My mom is great and I love her to death. But when she was my age she was living a totally different life. She was a single mother to 2 kids with the scars of her own past. So at this point in my life and where I want to take my life, there's not much she can do but support me and love me (which I appreciate). I don't have a relationship with my dad. My best friend and I are at the same stage in life, and on top of that we have 2 completely different expectations for our lives.

 So here I am. Feeling Alone. Trying to take on this big world. And trying to do everything right. I'm just trying to win. And its hard. God it is HARD. Honestly, like, you would never be able to guess some of the things I've been through and are going through, but this journey is hard. And you might not know it because I do a damn good Job of hiding it, but I feel it. Everyday. All day. Its not easy for me to talk about this, not because I'm ashamed because I'm not, but because I never want people to look at me as a victim. I don't want pity. Doesn't appeal to me.

What I have learned lately is that I am not alone. There are many people out there who feel what I feel. And no one knows. And they feel like they're alone. But I'm here to say you're not. I'm here. I understand. And no I don't have the answers. But I just want you to know that you're not crazy. What you feel is real. And you can beat it. I think that if we tried to focus more on what we do have instead of what we don't, how far we have come instead of how far we have to go, on all the people who love us instead of the one or two or three assholes who don't, we could learn to be happy. And give ourselves a break. I  am my worst enemy. Its sad. "I feel like I'm the worst so I always act like I'm the best"- Marina and the Diamonds. This post was suppose to be about something a little different but it kind of just became its own thing.

Lessons & Regrets: 2014

2014 has been quite a year for me. I turned 21, I moved into my first apartment, I tossed rocks in the pool of love ( and Girl I need to work on my aim), I started my blog, I was featured in my school magazine, I started a campus fashion magazine, I guess I've been up to a lot. Looking back I can say that I'm happy with the progress I've made. Although I never give myself the credit I deserve because I never feel like I'm doing enough. I'm not working hard enough, I'm not being grateful enough, I'm not doing enough. Overall I never feel like my work,  my efforts, or simply just me, is ever enough. I do not know why I'm like this. It drives me crazy.

Aside from all of my.. "accomplishments", I am proud to say that through this very tough/rewarding year I have learned some valuble lessons like:

1. Patience. Still haven't grasped this technique but it gets a little easier each day.

Hear No Evil, See No Evil, Speak No Evil

One of my dearest childhood friends reached out to me over the weekend and asked if I would do an interview with her. Of course I agreed and it was super fun reconnecting with her. Most people know her as Susie but those closest to her younger days know her as Nia. I remember the first day I met Nia. It was my first day at Ferndale Middle School and I was super nervous (it'd had been the 3rd school I transfered to that year!) but because I have always managed to polish myself up and never let em see me sweat, I just played it cool. Maybe too cool. In Fact, when I was introduced to Nia I was so concered with making a good impression I immediately went into overly-bubbly-crazy-happy girl lol. Her face was  P R I C E L E S S. I swear she wanted to say "Who's this crazy bitch". I thought

10 Reasons to Love Beyonce

Happy Birthday Beyonce!

On Thursday, September 4, 2014, stans, fans, and admirers of the Queen Bey took to the internet to show an overwhelming amount of birthday love, landing the world wide trending topic #HappyBirthdayBeyonce at number 1!

As we all know, the birth of Mrs. Carter is looked to as an unofficial holiday for many, and as an active and imperative member of the Beyhive, I would like to take this moment to list a few reasons why, Me, Myself, and I,  love and respect Beyonce as one of the greatest entertainers of all time.

1. She's Beyonce. We all should be grateful that God allowed us to live during the Beyonce era.
2. Single Ladies.  I've never felt more celebrated, rather than pitied(as if being a single female is a grave misfortune), for being a single lady.
3. The uh-oh dance. Instant go to move right before you bust out the twerk kick.
4. The evolution of her lacefronts. From the 'Writings on The Wall' to the 'Beyonce' album, her edges continue to slay.
5.The Entire B'day Album.  Deja Vu. Get Me Bodied. Sugar Mama. Upgrade U. Ring The Alarm. Kitty Kat. Freakum Dress. Green Light. Irreplaceable. Resentment. and for the way 'Listen' came out of nowhere at the end of the album(took me months to discover it).
6. Every Concert Costume.  I can't. Who am I? Not Beyonce.
7. RTW Performance for the Oprah Special. Even Oprah doubted her reason for breathing in that moment.
8. Blue Ivy.  All I want is for Blue Ivy to tell me "Good job"
9. Bow Down. Every time I heaar this song, I. Fucking. live.
10. December 13, 2013. Literally nothing was the same.


I would and I could, go on forever about why I love Beyonce, but unfortunately I am not Beyonce  and I don't collect my coin by being flawless. So I have to get ready for work....



P.S. RIP Joan Rivers.

A Thick Slice of Feminism

Lately it seems to me that feminism has become a very popular trend for mainstream media. From brands to pop stars, everyone has something to say about feminism and what it means to them.

Well even in the year 2014 a lot of people are still left confused about what it really means to be a feminist (I'm  pretty sure these are the same people who think homosexuals choose to be gay and all African Americans are poor and illiterate, but that's a different topic for a different day). Does feminism mean that women hate men? Does it mean that women should be opening doors for men? Does it mean that women should shame another woman for the way she may choose to express her sexuality? No. In fact, during her TEDtalk presentation "We Should All be Feminist", Chimamada  Ngozi Adichie, author of Americanah, put it in very simple terms:

"Feminist: A person who believes in the social, political, and economic equality of the sexes".

So now that we are all caught up let's get to the real issue. 

Anything you recieve from some one was created for you and given to you with a specific message and purpose behind it. The media is a platform or a tool used by corporations to communicate to consumers. Don't be fooled, I'm not just talking about big brands like Nike and Pepsi. Any person who has a public presence has the potential to become a corporation because the opportunity  for monetary gain is available. Corporations have one message for the consumer: buy our product because you need it and it's the best product for you.

Corporations know exactly who their consumer is. They know you! They know what you like and what you don't like. Some people might argue "Well I'm different. Corporations don't know me because I'm not like everyone else". I'm sorry to burst your bubble of bullshit but you are not as unique and different as you believe to be. You, in many different ways, share similar characteristics with other individuals. And when those characteristics are grouped together they create 'Target Markets'. Target markets help corporations design their message in a way that efficient and relatable to the consumer. 

What does this have to do with Feminism? Have you noticed that more and more commercials are promoting feminism or 'Girl power. Have you heard your favorite singer/celebrity use the term feminism to explain why he/she dresses or speaks or do certain things? Why is that? I can't give you the answer because I don't know. What I do know and what I have noticed is an increased dose of girl power being throw into my face. And what I do know is that at the end of these messages logos, brands, and products are being silently sold and dressed in ideals. I am all for girl power and I consider myself to be a feminist. What I encourage you to do is to simple ask "why?". The more you knowledge you have about a sitituation the better equipped you are to make a decision.

Okay, so what exactly am I saying here? Let's say I bake you a nice moist fluffy red velvet cake just the way you like it. I cut you a huge slice and wrap it up just for you. I even add extra icing on the side because I know how much you love icing. You get the slice of cake and you eat it and think "omg. This cake is amazing! It's everything red velet cake should be". Now you feel satisfied because you believe that you just had the best red velet cake in the world. And the next time you have a craving for red velet cake you're going to come running to me. What you don't know is that I used harmful food dyes and eggs that have be pre-exposed to chemicals. That extra icing on the side is just to distract you from the bullshit you've just consumed. Know who's making that red velet cake, and whats being used to make it, and why its being made for you.

Here are two ads that encourage girl power and feminism while silently selling you a product.