Sunday, April 10, 2016

This Is For My 20 Somethings


Over the past few years I've learned so many life changing lessons. Some hard and some from observing the mistakes of others. Each lesson has further my transition from child to adult. From girl to woman. Everything in my life from friends, relationships, jobs, and finances to spirituality, common sense, happiness, and peace, has been tested and re-adjusted to compliment my adult life.

To say that letting go of my childish standards, behaviors, and beliefs has been challenging is an understatement. Growing up fucking sucks. You literally have no idea what you're doing. You just do it and hope that somewhere along the line while you're super sonic-ing through life, you hit a few rings. However, sometimes you get lucky enough to cross paths with someone who's been exactly where you are and can offer you some wisdom, encouragement, and/or reassurance. Although I haven't been adulting for long I decided to share whatever wisdom I have.

So this is for my 20 somethings cause time really moves fast we were just sixteen.

1. Friendships.
99.9% of them have expiration dates. The idea that our childhood friends will grow old with us and become equally successful and will forever share our beliefs, morals, and values is the greatest fairy tale to ever exist.
People change and so will your friendships. Letting go doesn't make you a bad person. Sometimes you'll require more than what your personal relationships can offer. That's ok.

Friendship is the foundation. The only thing that separates platonic and romantic is the level of intimacy between two people. Be with someone who's interested in all of you. Be with someone you can cry in front of and dream in front of. Be with someone who understands who you are today and who is still curious about who you'll become tomorrow.

3. Work.
Ideally it'd be great to just "do what you love" but unfortunately we don't have that luxury just yet. To think that you'll just land the perfect job with the perfect benefits is very childish of you. I know you think you deserve it but the truth is you don't (and you don't just get to skip over that because you went to college, sorry). You have to work hard for it. You have to pay your dues. Some of us pay them by working late at the local restaurant, some of us pay them by dealing with an egotistical insecure condescending manager, most of us endure both. This will teach you character and work ethic. It will also grow you up real fast.


4. Money.
You need it. A lot of it. No it doesn't equal happiness but it sure as hell makes it easier to be happy. Be wise with your money. Children don't understand the value of  dollar. SAVE YOUR MONEY!!! Just because you have $250 dollars today doesn't mean spend it on stupid shit. $250 can either turn into $3 or $600. Financial security is your VIP pass through life.

If you want to be happy in life you're going to have to take the time to create a space that promotes and invites happy things and you are at the center of that space. Before you can have a grasp on life you must have a grasp on yourself. Love yourself. Renew your mind, body, and soul. Take time out to rest. drink water. Exercise. Take care of you first! Outside factors are a direct reflection of the condition of the inside. Find your center and your place of peace. That is your energy source and when you find it revisit it daily.

6. Common sense.
Use it.

7. Happiness and Peace.
The ultimate goal is to be happy. Happiness is truly an inside job. You not only have the power to choose to be happy but you can create your own happiness. Being happy doesn't mean everything in life is perfect and if you're waiting for that moment then you're going to be waiting a lifetime. No you don't just wake up and decide hey today I'm happy (I wish it was that simple), like everything else you have to work for it. For me happiness is rooted in being grateful, feeling and giving love, being able to create and appreciate art, and my personal relationship with God. Finding peace in your current situation will grant you the power to be happy. Remember that happiness isn't a destination but a present state of being.

All of these life lessons are the foundation of your future and each of them will be tested and tested again. It's a constant flow and an everyday practice. There's not a real way to live this just remember to stay relentless. Don't stop running until it's finished. It's up to you the rest is unwritten. And yes that is a Beyonce reference. Obvi.

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