The The Truth about my love life is that it is complex, electrifying, beautiful, humors, precious, unrequited, tender, and everlasting. It is composed of endless butterflies and sudden heartbreak. It is nothing like I'd thought it'd be but everything that I needed. Since love is the topic this month I've decided to share my experiences with you all in 3 parts. Enjoy.
For part click here for part 1 and here for part 2
I met him when I went off to my 4 year school. We were acquaintance for about a year before we started dating. He was literally everything I though I wanted from a man. He fit my physical preference, he was doing well for himself in school, he was mature, and he treated me like a princess. But something still didn't feel right.
I was frustrated with myself because here it was everything that I thought I wanted and I didn't feel like I thought I should have.
It took a toll on me emotionally. I felt like I was being pressured to be with him by everyone else because we looked good together and because there wasn't anything wrong with him. I would tell some of my friends that I felt like he wasn't the one for me and I would get this look like "B*tch is you dumb". Although deep down I knew I didn't love him and I would never love him I still tried to be that girl and it sucked. How do you tell someone who has never done anything to hurt you that you just don't want to be with them anymore?
Things started to get a little rocky between us. I think he knew that I wasn't fully invested and til this day it breaks my heart to know that I might of broken his but that's life. And this is when I understood that you can't calculate or predict love. Love happens when you least expect it. I might not be in love with him but I do have love for him because he saved me. He showed me that there are great guys out there who will treat you right. I know now that passion is something I need in a partner. I also learned that I am not defined by my relationship or lack of a relationship. There's so much pressure on girls to be successful in love and although love is cool it's not all that I live for.
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