Tuesday, February 16, 2016

The Truth About My Love Life at 21

The The Truth about my love life is that it is complex, electrifying, beautiful, humors, precious, unrequited,  tender, and everlasting. It is composed of endless butterflies and sudden heartbreak. It is nothing like I'd thought it'd be but everything that I needed. Since love is the topic this month I've decided to share my experiences with you all in 3 parts. Enjoy.

 Click here for part 1

The second person that I loved might as well be the first and only person because my love for him is the strongest and the purest.

I met homeboy when I was about 17 through friends. He had a girlfriend and I had no plans on ever being involved with him. Never thought twice about it. Fast forward to 19 and still friends on Facebook, one day we made plans to hang out
and of course because I was just so damn naive I thought nothing of it. Well long story short it ended up being a date and I had a great time. I'd never laughed so hard with a stranger. By the end of the date I couldn't wait to hang out with him again.

Our friendship continued through the summer and I really felt myself gaining love for him. Not in a romantic way but like a best friend kind of love. I always had the best time with him and whenever I was with him I felt present. Although I was attracted to him and I knew that the chemistry was more than a friendly thing,  I didn't entertain the idea of being more than just friends. He was my friend and I was okay with that.

 It wasn't until he left for school that things started to get weird. I expected that we'd stop talking and I wouldn't see him as often but the exact opposite happened. I started to become really attached to him. Apart of me felt like I needed him in a way. Life started  happening and he became distant and I didn't understand why. I remember feeling like he abandoned me and I was angry about it. I was hurt and I was confused. I wanted to know why someone who I considered a friend would just leave me hanging like that. Somehow something that started off so innocent and pure was now poison to me and it really broke my heart to lose something so valuable to me.

A lot of things transpired over the next two years and by the age of 21 I'd had my first real heartbreak. There has been lot of Instagram and Facebook stalking  in the past(not always proud but always honest). A lot of I'm sorry's , I love you's , don't talk to me's ,and I hate you's. I grew a lot from my experience with this person. I learned how pure love can be and how evil it can become if it's not tamed. I learned the importance of reciprocity in any relationship. I learned that I am responsible for my emotions and sometimes how we feel is simply just how we feel. No one has to take responsibility for my emotions. I learned how everlasting and unconditional love can be. Most importantly I learned that what may be love for me may not be what love is for someone else. And that's okay.

Click here to read about how I walked away from the Perfect guy

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