The The Truth about my love life is that it is complex, electrifying, beautiful, humors, precious, unrequited, tender, and everlasting. It is composed of endless butterflies and sudden heartbreak. It is nothing like I'd thought it'd be but everything that I needed. Since love is the topic this month I've decided to share my experiences with you all in 3 parts.
The first time I felt (key word) like I loved a boy I was 18 and he was 21. I was instantly attracted to him. He was very polarizing to me. Our relationship was not supported by my friends and for very good reasons, but I still felt like I needed to continue my relationship with him.
Being 18 I thought he was everything that I wanted and needed from a partner because at 18 what the fuck did I know? I was still trying to figure out if Beyonce wore wigs.
We met through a mutual friend and eventually ended up exchanging numbers. The first time we spoke over the phone we talked for hours! I didn't go to bed until like 7am the next morning. We just talked and talked and laughed. He asked me things about me and he wanted to know me. Looking back I think that's what got me. I'd never had that before and it felt nice to feel important to someone. I was very shy and unsure as a teenager girl. I didn't have that much experience with guys especially not a 21 year old man.
When things ended it was very hard for me. At the time I didn't understand why or how you could spend 4 months learning about a person and investing time into someone and suddenly wake up and not care anymore. Now I know that it takes a lot more than late night phone calls and promises to fulfill my needs. I also know that not everyone is going to be willing to put in the work that's required to build and maintain a relationship with me. He might of been an asshole to me but I learned a lot from him. I learned how precious I am and that everyone doesn't deserve to be with me ( on all levels) . I learned that I needed to care about myself before I can ask someone else to care for me. He isn't someone I have a relationship with today and I don't care too, but he played a major part in my transformation from girl to woman. I learned how to trust myself and live for myself. Every girl needs that lesson.
Click here to read about how I fell in love with my best friend